Hell no I ain’t cookin’ squat. Joe’s mother does it, the old bat, and I say let her. Whatever I make it’s too salty, it’s too sweet, it’s too hot, it’s too cold. She said that once, that what I made was too cold, once, and I looked at her, all the plastic on her furniture shinin’ at me through the kitchen doorway cause she windexes it, every day she windexes it like anyone’s ever allowed to sit on it and she says that to me, that what I made was too cold and I looked right at her, I looked right at her and I said, “It’s freakin’ jello and cool whip, it’s supposed to be cold”. First Thanksgiving we were married I told Joe, I told Joe, the best thing I make is reservations.