Tag Archives: Tiger Woods

Enquiring Minds

DAVE:
Enquiring minds, huh. I read my wife’s in the can. You know what I want? I want to know when that Alien Baby grows up, you know. They got tons of pictures of this Alien baby for years, that kid oughta be in junior high by now, right?

The National Enquirer is an American supermarket tabloid that specializes in sensationalist celebrity news. They are known to pay sources to provide tips for stories, a practice that is derided in most mainstream publications, as it encourages people to submit things that aren’t true.

Here are some covers from 2009, when this scene takes place (and check out our previous blog post about Tiger Woods):

Though I couldn’t find any examples of alien baby stories, here are some real National Enquirer articles dealing with extraterrestrial subjects: http://bit.ly/1fYsMcg  http://bit.ly/19dn9FQ

Despite a lot of crazy articles, though, the Enquirer does get things right now and then. NPR, introducing an interesting 2008 episode of Talk of the Nation about why, when the National Enquirer broke the legitimate story of John Edward’s affair, the rest of the media ignored it for so long, writes,

You probably know the stock in trade of the National Enquirer — alien babies born to all-American families, Bigfoot sightings, celebrities’ cellulite and botched plastic surgeries — supermarket checkout line perusing par excellence. I know I usually assume the stories are fakes, and it’d be hard to blame you if you do too. This time, however, the Enquirer bested us all when John Edwards, subject of months of Enquirer coverage for his (then-alleged) extramarital affair, came clean in the mainstream media. Oops.

On a similar note, here’s a list of 11 seemingly unbelievable stories that turned out to be true (including the Tiger Woods story, as discussed in a previous post).

Tiger Woods: A Thanksgiving Meltdown

DAVE (shaking his head): You get a load of that, huh? Greatest golfer in the whole wide world.
CLIVE: Morning news said she got that Cadillac good with those clubs.
DAVE: Well of course the guy’s sleeping around he’s richer than God: this is news? They’ll print anything I tell you. This is not news.

In the early morning hours of November 27, 2009, Tiger Woods got into a car accident as he was backing out of the driveway of his Windermere, FL home, according to ABC News:

Professional golfer Tiger Woods was injured in a car crash outside his Windermere, Fla., home early this morning, according to the Florida Highway Patrol.

The 33-year-old Woods was driving a 2009 Cadillac SUV alone when he hit a fire hydrant and then slammed into a tree at 2:25 a.m., according to police reports.

According to ABC affiliate WFTV, Windermere Police Chief Daniel Saylor said Woods’ wife, Elin Nordegren, used a golf club to smash out the back window and get her husband out of the car.

 She told officers she was in their house when she heard the accident and came outside.

Saylor told WFTV police officers found Woods lying in the street with his wife hovering over him. Saylor said Woods was in and out of consciousness when the officers arrived.

This happened after the National Enquirer leaked the story of Woods having an affair with a New York City party girl named Rachel Uchitel.

The ENQUIRER is reporting exclusively in its print edition that  the 34-year-old brunette, who has a reputation for dating married celebrities, has been telling friends about a jet-set liaison with 33-year-old Tiger  that began in June.

Multiple sources, who passed polygraph tests, say Rachel told them that she and Tiger also stay in touch during his frequent travels through phone calls and “sexting,” sending each other racy text messages on their cell phones.

Here are a few images from the 2009 Thanksgiving week events:

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